Thursday, September 8, 2011

Working With Your Parents

I want everyone to answer this question honestly, how many times have there been when you wanted to start yelling at your parents? Ok, simpler questions, how many times in the last week have you wanted to start screaming at your parents? If there was even once, don't kick yourself over it, you can't expect yourself to be perfectly cooperative with your parents on EVERY decision. It is unrealistic to expect yourself of that. You may ask now though, how can I learn to talk with my parents with out blowing up at them? I will give you a few tips that everyone can apply, and not only with their parents but with ever situation you may face!

Tip #1: Before you start to get mad, try and listen to what they are saying.
I know it may not seem it at the time, but your parents do know what they are talking about. Maybe they haven't been in the exact situation as you but they are able to look at that situation with an unbiased mindset and tell you what should be done, even if it is not what you wanted to hear. I'll admit, there are times when I don't like what my parents are telling me but I know they are right.

Tip #2: Talk it out with them.
Don't be afraid to tell your parents how you feel. If you have something that is bothering you, don't hold back from telling them. What if telling them is too hard though? Try writing a letter. You would be surprised but when you write it all out, you stay much more calm and are able to explain your thoughts and feelings a lot better. This is one of my biggest problems. I keep quiet and don't tell my parents how I feel on a matter or I am not clear when I do talk. It not only frustrates them but it also upsets me. (Cation! When you are telling your parents how you feel, make sure you are telling them and not yelling at them. You may not realize it but before you know it your voice is too high for their liking and that never makes matters easier. Also, try not to say things like "You never let me do..." or "Everyone else does..." Don't pass the blame, try to lay it out in front of them. You will all stay much more calm.)

Tip #3: Never lie or sneak behind their back.
You may think it is just easier to not ask your parents to go and do something or you may think that your parents would say no, but just try and ask. They may really surprise you. There have been plenty of times when I was sure they would say no but they surprised me and agreed. Keep in mind though, it is NEVER a good idea to go against what your parents say. They will find out one way or another and that is not an argument you want to be at the end of.

Tip #4: Try not to get too worked up when your parents are counseling you. 
If you parents are giving you advice on what to do, don't get too worked up. Try your best to stay calm and hear what they have to say. It will only irritate your parents more if they see you get defensive, or hurt, or mad.

Tip #5: If you want them to to start treating you older, you need to show it.
Maybe you want your parents to view you as more mature. Thing is, you actually have to act that way. Think of it this way, if you see someone at school always joking around and never doing what he is told even when it is simple. All they do is irritate and annoy then they go and ask for everyone to respect them for a mature adult. What would you think of them if that happened? Same with your parents! If you want them to respect you more, you need to act worthy of it. Maybe you want them to raise your allowance or extend your curfew (or bedtime, depends on your age), you need to show you are responsible enough to get it. Maybe you can pick up with one or two more chores around the house or help out with dinner a bit. Your parents will see the differences and reward you. (Cation! Keep in mind, it may take weeks if not months to show you are responsible but all it takes is one little lie to throw all of that hard work out of the window. Also, if you think that your parents don't notice your hard work, try calmly bringing it to their attention. Remember, calmly is always the key word.)

Tip #6: Don't be afraid to ask your parents if you can have some time to think over a big decision.
There is nothing wrong with asking your parents if you can think over a big decision. It not only will help you to get a better handle on the decision but it will also show your parents you are responsible.

Well, I hope these few tips come in handy the next time you see a conversation with your parents spiraling out of control. I know these may seem easier said then done, but trust me, if you just try to apply at least one of these tips, it will help beyond belief! So, as I bring this helpful little guide to an end, I wish you all the best of luck in trying to apply these helpful hints and I sincerely hope they help you in building a better relationship with your parents! 


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